MECHANISMS OF MONEYApr 19, 2023
THE EDITORIAL - PUBLICATION 002 - MECHANISMS OF MONEY
The intersection between Relationships & Money.
Cultivating Wealth is an act of love, freedom, and a sacred rebellion. Being wealthy is different from being rich but you cannot be rich and be fulfilled by money if you are not wealthy.
Wealth is what we treasure.
Money creates freedom or prisons depending on how we use it. I find the study of my relationship to money to be an endlessly deep and fruitful hub of internal insight and wisdom. It allows me to observe my daily habits, my fears, my relationship to receiving and use….how comfortable I am with intimacy. It helps me measure my capacity for joy, gratitude, and appreciation. It shows me how much I can be with the here and the now. It asks me whether or not I can create from nothingness. It reveals my level of commitment and standards - do I know myself?
Do I know what I want?
Loving money just as it is. The wild man vibe:
One thing I have learned in the past year is how to love a man who is made of freedom. This lesson for me has been so incredibly valuable in my relationship with money. When I look back on the way I felt - what compelled me to quiet down and do the work inside of myself that could receive and give love in this way, I can explain it to you in a series of fear and desires that I chose to say yes to. It operated in me like this:
Your relationship to money - Receiving and Use:
I met a man who felt like home. The first time I spent a day with him, my whole body relaxed. I no longer felt the sensations of frantic internal processing. In the past, when around new people and trying to make conversation or connection, I would overcompensate in the energy of discomfort and performance. I would talk too much, share too much….I always felt like I needed to put on a show or fill the quiet spaces with conversation to keep myself safe. I didn’t like or feel comfortable with just being and letting go of control so I would chatter nervously to offset the anxiety that was happening in my system and all of a sudden, next to him, that feeling was gone. In an instant, for no definable reason, I was in a state of perfect balance.
Releasing desperation from your field:
I was deeply sparked by and drawn to this man. His energy invited me to challenge “loss.” Let me explain; because I had never felt so comfortable in my own body next to someone else, I immediately gauged the potential for me losing access to that state of being on a subconscious level. My system “knew” that it would be a loss and I found myself processing this equation in the background constantly. I understood that this fear based looping was inappropriate because we had just met and agreed in the beginning that our time together would be short and casual. He was leaving California in a few months and told me upfront. I could choose to be a part of it or not.
The sacred practice of appreciation:
I decided to ask myself the question, “What would I say yes to if I wasn’t afraid of pain or loss?” I asked myself this question every time I felt fear and a need for control in order to mitigate prophesied pain. I committed to what I defined in myself as a devotion to my Savage Heart. A heart that could handle the depth of my desire with grit and tenacity, one that had access to limitless internal resources. A heart that was one with my inner landscape, that knew how to be a force of nature. A heart that was vulnerable, not as a tactic for intimacy but one that could admit that it wanted love, was willing to share itself, and show up for it. It was time for fun and playfulness.
I made this work sacred in me. I focused on appreciating the moment. Appreciating what I had in the here and the now, I refused to operate outside of that experience and I surrendered to my desire. I set intentions for the future and worked diligently inside of myself not to suffer the space between.
Alternate realities with money:
I learned to believe that any reality was possible. If I wasn’t creating a state of suffocating fear based control in my energetic system. If I wasn’t processing this and acting from it, I could raise my vibration through the work I was doing in my commitment to love and shift realities. My gratitude in the now would permeate my current state and release old layers of belief and trauma that were held in me from my past experiences. This was an incredibly valuable skill, I saw the power in it and I leaned in every single time.
So back to the question, Do I know what I want?
I did. I wanted to receive love. I asked for it. I set standards and I took responsibility for myself when living as such felt hard. I wanted to create a rich life. I wanted to cultivate a wealthy internal landscape where I was receiving all the beauty that life had to offer me. I wanted a partner I could build an empire with. I wanted to travel, have fun, know myself better, release fear from my system. And I wanted to do all of this for me.
And I got what I wanted.
So how does this relate to money? Ask yourself:
How do you feel next to money? Does your body relax and feel balanced? Can you let go of fear and frenetic energy?
Are you afraid of losing money or never having enough? Are you connecting to money with the energy of desperation? Are you always worried you won’t be ok?
Are you accepting money for what it is now? Can you appreciate it? Can you feel into every crevice and corner and love it? Can you let it provide exactly what you need in every moment because it holds you? Can you say yes to it? Can you let it go?
Can you set future intentions to cultivate wealth while shifting your vibration in the now? Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe you can create more now by releasing what is not in resonance with an internal state of abundance? Can it meet you in your fullness?
Are you committed? It is sacred? Are you willing to show up?
Money is a neutral source. It is not your job to tame it or control it. It is your job to let it show up for you and provide for you. Like a wild and free man, energetically, money responds to your gratitude and appreciation. It can choose to move in any direction but it is magnetized towards the direction in you that opens to it fully and puts it to use with intention and raw, primal desire.
And like my love, it is a beautiful, wonderful, rich and wealthy asset in creating the life of your dreams.
It is a treasure. Or rather, it can be.